July 22, 2009
Confessions Of A Fat Kid
5:43 pm

~~~ I actually wrote this back in November of 07, just never published it:~~~

A few months ago, I was feeling pretty crappy on a daily basis, so I headed to the doctor, and the decided it was time for some blood tests. The good news, I’m not diabetic. The bad news, they found my cholesterol was around 300, so, not only was I fat but my blood was audibly singing Michael Row The Boat Ashore as it slowly clopped it’s way through my veins like a blind horse in a Barnes And Noble.

So, it was time for some changes, some good, some not so good. The good, I’ve discovered a load of healthy things that I can eat. Thank the maker for not only turkey but for the brilliant people who have learned how to fashion it into lots of yummy things. I have recently discovered such wonders as pepperoni, burgers, hot dogs, polish sausages, sausage, and just today, turkey bacon, all of which are not necessarily fat free, but they do have considerably less fat than their “normal” counterparts. I’m still on the search for turkey donuts, but for now I’ll have to settle for fat free candy corns. I’ve also discovered that I Hershey’s chocolate syrup is fat free and so is chocolate pudding when made with skim milk, and did I mention candy corns? Also, the brilliant minds at KRAFT have come up with a new Fat Free cheese that actually melts and is almost as tasty as it’s fatty alternative.  So I have taken all of these little discoveries and combined them into the finest low fat food of all, see you take homemade turkey chili, turkey hot dogs, and fat free cheese and what do you have?  That’s right my friend, very low fat  chili cheese dogs!

Category: ...the way i see it
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February 16, 2008
The Race Is On And Here Comes…
1:11 am

Here we go again, it’s time for another presidential election. I still remember the early days of Bush’s second term thinking “Man, 2008 is a long long way away if this turns out bad.” And, I think it became quite apparent that having someone in office that is deep in the pockets of the oil industry wasn’t such a great idea. Not that he didn’t do any good things, but they are greatly overshadowed by the bad ones.

Now, I know I’m quite late getting into the game, but I’m bound and determined to make the right decision this year, so I’ve been studying and watching, and quite honestly, I’m not sure I like what I’ve seen.

Let’s begin with the Republicans, which I have to admit I’m a registered member of if that matters.

Mike Huckabee: Honestly the guy doesn’t have a chance. It was quite impressive that he took Iowa early, and he’s made a pretty good run in the south since then, and realistically, had there been no Romney, he might have had a chance to give McCain a run. He may have gotten a chance in debates to speak his mind instead of sitting at the end of the table keeping Ron Paul company. However, I would have had a tough time voting for someone who was heard to say that if we hadn’t had so many abortions we wouldn’t have so many illegal immigrants.

Ron Paul: What little I got to hear Ron say I thought was quite relevant. I think he had his eyes pointing in the right direction. He wanted to focus on our failing economy and our out of control spending, however, unfortunately the voters of the Republican party seem to be much more concerned with far less important issues, which by the way was how GW got elected to a second term.

John McCain: I have little to say about this weasel. I think it’s obvious that he’ll win the Republican nomination, but I don’t know how anyone could trust him. Even in the debates he launched into a lengthy pissing match with Romney over whether or not Mitt supported a withdrawal date from Iraq even though it was quite clear that Romney had said that he would definitely not. Ironically, he appears to have learned his bullying skills from the likes of that hack Michael Moore.

And then the Blues.

Hillary Clinton: I also think she’s a turncoat weasel. I find it difficult to have respect for someone who seems to flip and flop so much

Barack Obama: I think he’s an interesting guy, kind of the new kid on the block which makes it tough to compare him completely.  People are analyzing everyone’s actions over the years as far as the war and the economy, but I’m not sure he’s been around long enough to come up with an accurate record.

This wouldn’t be complete, however, if I didn’t mention the one person that I would have voted for without a second thought.  No, I’m not talking about Mitt Romney, I’m talking about John Edwards. I believe whole heartedly that he would have made a fantastic President, and make no mistake, to steal a thought from Bill Maher, Hillary and Barack are now running on Edwards’s ideas.  John Edwards was simply a victim of being a boring white guy in a race with a black guy and a woman.

So, with my general ideas of the candidates, I’ll be back (hopefully soon) with my thoughts on who will win the Democratic nomination, and maybe I can, through spewing out my ideas, come up with the best decision.

Anyway, until next time…

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

November 14, 2007
11:09 pm


A Nebraska team that scored only 98 points in it’s last 5 games somehow managed 73 points against Kansas State?  I guess all I can say is, yeah, that makes perfect sense.

The past week has been filled  with “So what happened this week that hasn’t been happening all year?  Is it the QB?  Is it the coaches?  Is it the presence of TO?” questions, and unfortunately I think there is really only 1 answer.  There is an age old rule that speaks about The Sun and  a dog’s butt, and this week, the proverbial dog that is the Huskers had it’s respective day in the sun.

I do believe that Joe Ganz is a very talented kid, and he made good use of some amazing receivers who have been under utilized this year, but the bottom line is, this is pretty much the same group of kids that have been unable to move the ball with any consistency all year and unable to protect the QB and open running holes.  So what is the difference?  Is Ganz really that much better than Keller?  He does make good decisions, he throws the ball well, and he tends to look around and find the best place to put the ball.   And in his first 2 starts he’s thrown for a touch over 900 yards and 11 touchdowns, and Keller in 9 games threw for 2400 yards and only 14 TDs.  Ganz also moves his feet pretty well and doesn’t get shaken as easily, but he’s spent less time on his nether regions as Keller did, but maybe that’s because he’s a little more mobile.

Strangely, I have to say, as much as I don’t want to admit it, as I’ve write this I think I’m starting to convince myself that maybe Joe Ganz is the reason for the turn around, maybe he’s igniting this offense.  Maybe the team just needed a QB that could just flat out outscore people and give the D something to play for.  They put up almost 40 points against Kansas, and outscored 8 of the other 11 teams in the conference, but for some reason the D had no interest whatsoever in playing that day.  So now I’ve rambled on and really not said much of anything, but I have managed to reason a little bit in my mind where the problem still lies.  I believe Ganz can operate the offense, but can he score enough points to stay ahead of the defense?

Now that I’ve written this, just watch, they’ll end up with just a field goal against Colorado next Friday.

…anyway, until next time,

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

November 6, 2007
So, How Do We Right The Ship?
11:12 pm

We’re all amazed by things.  Some by nature, or by children, or even by the miracle of post it notes, but for me it’s how Charlie Weis was blindingly furious over a 2 point loss to Navy (which was their first loss to them in nearly 4 decades), but yet the Nebraska football players and coaches seemed strangely cheerful after giving up 11 straight touchdowns and 76 points to the Kansas Jayhawks.  I even heard one player say, “I guess they just had a few more good plays than we did”.  A few more good plays?  11 straight touchdowns.  How do you give up 76 points and give giddy interviews?

But now, I have a radical idea for righting this downward spiraling ship, and strangely, it doesn’t involve firing any more people.  Now, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I believe the best idea by far would be to offer the head coaching job to Bo Pelini.  I don’t think they could lure him away from LSU with another DC job, but I think he’d have to consider a head coaching job, and I think he would be a brilliant replacement.  But, with that said, how do we come out of the tail spin with no more casualties?  We use a tired old cliche, Keep It Simple Stupid.  It’s time for Dr. Osborne to put Coach Callahan’s words to the test.  If he really wants to stay at Nebraska and do what’s right, it’s time to revamp his coaching strategy.  It’s time to simplify this offense and defense.  I’m not saying they need to dump the west coast offense, actually, when they’re not way behind and the blocking holds up, they can move the ball quite effectively, but let’s get rid of all the shifting, all the moving around, and probably most of the delay of game and illegal motion penalties.  Let’s give Mr. Ganz a simpler offense, lots of options during the play, and plenty of time to make good decisions.  Let’s then take that simplification on into the defense.  Let’s take all the wrist bands away and let’s develop a very simple effective defense that can stop people from scoring at will, and let’s teach them to tackle again.  However,  I do believe that if the defense was simplified and people knew where they were supposed to be, that they might just be in position to make those tackles.  How do we do that?  I say we call Charlie McBride and have him come in and do some consulting work. 

The problem is, they have a very complicated game plan, but it’s being executed in a half-assed fashion, and I say, better a simple system executed well than an elaborate one that no one knows how to execute.  If Coach Callahan is really not in it for the money and really wants to stay and help, he’s got to be willing to revamp and rebuild and he’s got to be very public about his overhauling to gain the confidence of the fans and the recruits, and if he’s not willing to take these steps, then it’s time to see if we can get Solich, Gill, and Pelini back and we’ll just pretend the last few years didnt’ happen.

 …until next time,

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

October 15, 2007
Nah Nah Nah Nah…
6:52 pm


Dear Steve Pederson,

Though you did some good things for the Nebraska athletics department, you also did some monumentally stupid things based on your own personal issues and because of that, I have to say, you won’t be missed.


As of about 1:30ish CST today, Steve Pederson is no longer the Athletic Director for the University Of Nebraska. Unfortunately, too little, too late. Now, I’m sure that there are people who are reading this that think that I’m just some crazy football fan who blames him for all of the Husker’s recent losses, however, that’s just not true. I think it’s been proven that he was much more damaging than that. He was driving away valuable personnel and in the end he was far more a liability than an asset.

Quite simply, I believe that he got rid of Frankie Solich and Bo Pelini because he didn’t want them there and he didn’t go to too much trouble to make that a secret. Unfortunately, he took a coach out of power that (according to wikipedia because i was too lazy to compile that stats myself) “directed the Cornhusker program to six consecutive bowl games, including the national championship game in the 2002 Rose Bowl. Nebraska won at least nine games in five of those six seasons, and finished among the top 10 teams in the nation three times. Coach Solich compiled a 58 – 19 record at Nebraska.” Now, I know that the fans of the Nebraska program often chastised Solich for his inability to win the big game, and the crushing they took in that 2002 Championship game (which, let’s be honest, they didn’t really belong in), and as a fan, I also was often displeased with his work, however, the bottom line was that he was moving the team in the right direction. He had made some coaching changes, whether it was his idea or he was told to to save his job, including bringing in Coach Pelini to run the defense and things were starting to move the right direction.

I believe that fans were disgruntled, but I don’t think that most were in favor of Solich’s dismissal, because even the most close minded of fans had to see that there was progress being made, but the disgruntlement remained, and I believe it was for only one reason, he wasn’t Tom Osborne. Coach Osborne finished his last 5 years as head coach 60-3. Even USC over the past 5 years of dominance has only compiled a record of 59-6, so 60-3 was an amazing accomplishment.  However, I think if NU fans (including myself) would have taken some time to do some research, they’d have seen that though he didn’t duplicate the 60-3 mark (which few people probably have in any 5 year stretch in the history of football, again, i’m too lazy to do that research) he did manage to win 49 of his first 65 games which I believe put him in the top 10 of all coaches during that same 5 year stretch. It was truly an amazing record, however I’d like to attempt to create a parallel if i could.

Let’s take a look at the struggles that Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden have faced over the last few years. Now, I don’t know the exact numbers (again the lazy thing) but they have both had their share of exquisite downswings in recent years, but let’s say for the sake of argument that they had both retired just before those downswings and had gone out on top winning 3 titles in 4 years and that their replacements had then won 49 games in their first 65, I think their fans would have been equally disgruntled for the simple fact that they had been spoiled by 5 fantastic years and even though the years that followed were fantastic by most schools standards, by the standards of a championship school they were nothing but sub par. Fans of schools that have had a dynasty of winning, like Florida State, Miami, Penn State, Notre Dame, Oklahoma, have an expectation of greatness and those expectations and standards are high, but I think in the end, with the exception of a few freakazoids, fans will eventually realize that it could be worse. I think after the past 3 years NU fans have seen that it can be a WHOLE lot worse.

So to sum up Mr. Pederson, we bid you farewell.  You allowed your personal feelings, whatever caused them, to send one of the greatest programs in College football into a downward spiral which at this moment there appears to be no escape from.  Not that coach Solich would have lead them to the promised land, but I do believe they’d be in better shape than they are now.  You have also allowed your jackoffedness to drive off some important players in the department and hacked off some boosters and investors.  But heres to you as well, as you managed to sign a 5 year contract extension just before your dismissal which will net you a nice $2.2 million to take with you, but sir please remember that that is blood money and you obtained it at the expense of slitting the pasty white throat of that which you claimed to be once your love and your passion.


(ps. I’m sure I’ll edit this a few times as I’m somewhat out of practice and I’m sure lots of it doesn’t make any sense)

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

July 28, 2007
The Pasta Express
10:25 pm

I’m sure most of you have seen  the ads on TV for the Pasta Express , which is basically a large plastic tube with a lid and a velcro thing that wraps around it.  The idea is that you put your pasta in it, pour in some boiling water, and in 7-10 minutes you have perfectly cooked pasta.  It can also cook veggies and other stuff, even hot dogs.

Now I had seen a review on a local news show that said it didn’t work very well, so it was hard for me to invest $10-15 on it, but I still thought it might be a good idea.  But, one day while at a yard sale, I found one for 50 cents, so I figured I’d give it a chance.

So, tonight came along, and I decided it was finally time to give it a try.  I got out my alfredo sauce and started it to warming up and filled the electric kettle with water and waited for it to boil.  Next I put a small handful of fettuccine in the Pasta Express, poured in the freshly boiled water, set the timer for 7 minutes, and settled in for the wait.  When the timer beeped I looked over and it was very easy to tell that the pasta was no where near done.  So i waited another 7 or 8 minutes and thought it was getting softer, it was still far from done.      I then filled the kettle with some more water and set it to boil again, which took a few minutes, and then emptied the pasta express’s water and poured in the new boiled water and left it again for another 7 or so minutes.  Finally I was hungry and it looked close to done, so I went ahead and emptied the water and poured the pasta into a bowl where I discovered that it was not only very stuck together, but STILL not cooked all the way.  I went ahead and ate it, due to lack of other options, and the sauce was good enough that I kind of forgot about the noodles,  but it was still far far from perfect.

Overall: As much as I wanted to believe in this product,  the bottom line is it just turned out to be crap.  But, for 50 cents, I at least ended up with a nice drum stick holder.


Category: Stuff I Bought
Comments: None

Tra La La
10:04 pm

So, i took like half the year off, and now i’m back to where i always end up.  Near everyday i think of something that i would like to or could write, but i never take the time to sit down and do it.

Lots of stuff has gone on in the past few months.  I got a new nephew, the Clampetts got a dog (oh, the neighbors are now The Clampetts), my house flooded, I got rid of my cable and got Dish Network, i started “playing golf” again…and i use that term loosely, and some other stuff.  And, lots of crap has gone on, Chris Beniot whacked his family (however, i will soon attempt to prove wasn’t him but OJ that did it), Paris went to jail, got out of jail, went to jail, got out of jail, Britney Spears went to rehab, got out of rehab, went to rehab, got out of rehab, and so on and so on.  All of which, i’ve had thoughts about, but just haven’t found the energy to sit down and write about, but if i’m ever going to fulfill my lifelong goal of someday getting paid to write something for someone, i have to start by being able to find the time to practice.  So, welcome to my practice.

I’m going to try, yet again, to revive this stupid little site by just finding some time every night to sit and write, whether it’s about some celebrity crap, or the reality shows that i’m shamefully hooked on, or how bad i am at golf, or even some new crap that i’ve bought that works or doesn’t, but at least it will be something.

So, until then…

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

February 7, 2007
Long December…and January
12:01 am

What started out as a pretty mild winter has turned into a good old fashioned booger freezer.  Every night for what seems like forever has been hovering around zero like a turd that won’t flush with a healthy dose of mind numbing wind.  I’ve really gotten all the fun I can out of it.  Not that the cold is any good excuse for not writing anything for 2 months, but then again, it’s my world, so I guess I can use whatever excuse I want.

If you’re reading this from somewhere where it never gets below like 50 degrees, then you might as well skip the next part as you probably won’t understand it.

Over the past 30 years or so there have been amazing advances in technology as far as cars are concerned.  We’ve seen advancements in electronic fuel injection, cars that can remember where your seat and pedals are, heated seats, multi zone climate contol zones,  cruise control, the auto stick, , and most recently, there’s even a car that can paralell park itself, but for some reason, 1 invention seems to have still eluded the great minds of the auto industry.  Why is it that no one has been able to come up with a heated steering wheel?  The only thing worse than getting into a freezing car is getting into a freezing car and grabbing the steering wheel and being afraid that your hands might just stick to the thing.  I just don’t understand why they can heat my butt but not my hands.  Now I’m sure that there’s probably some reason that they haven’t done it yet, and it’s most likely some risk of injury or something, but I think anyone who lives north of Oklahoma would agree with me in saying, we’ll take the risk, we just want warm hands.

Anyway, until next time…

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

December 7, 2006
I’m Tired Of Coughing
11:07 pm

I’ve been doing it for over a week, and it doesn’t show any signs of slowing down.  Unfortunately, after an expensive doctor visit which included 2 rounds of X-Rays because apparently the X-Ray lady didn’t notice the first time that I’m a big ol’ fatty, and I was too wide to fit on the film, so she had to use the wide angle lens, they still didn’t really tell me what was wrong.

They did however give me some codeine cough medicine to help me sleep and an inhaler since my bronchial tubes were all clenched up.  It was here that I learned a valuable lesson, Walgreens is stupidly expensive.  The combination of the two drugs was supposed to be around $30, however, since I went to Walgreens, it cost me almost $70.

That night I discovered something that I would later find out made me a part of a very small minority.  I used my inhaler and took my codeine and tried to get to sleep, but instead, I was awake almost the whole night, not just coughing like I had been, but wide awake sitting in my chair starring at my TV that was off.  Upon advisement that maybe it was the inhaler that caused my restlessness and insomnia, so the next night I took just the codeine, but to my gleeful surprise, I was just as wide awake as the night before, and spent just as much time watching my blank TV.  Come Wednesday, I’d had enough, so that night at band practice I mentioned to the doctor (who is in our church band, and is the preacher’s wife) the difficulties I had been having sleeping when taking a drug that should have been knocking me out.  It was then that she informed me that i was part of a small group (around 1% of like all the people on this planet) upon whom the wonder drug codeine has the adverse effect of causing “restlessness”.  So, I spent $30 on some cough syrup that, because I’m a freak of nature, kept me up all night.

So last night, I took some Thera Flu that’s like $1 an envelope, and I slept like a log.  I love modern medicine.

…anyway, until next time,

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

November 18, 2006
Smells Like…
3:46 pm

I’ve recently renewed my interest in burning various smelly crap in my house, really for nothing more than keeping it from smelling badly.  Everything from candles, to stick incense, cone incense, and even these little wax like beads that are made from soy apparently that melt over a candle and smell up the whole house very quickly.

It all started again with going to a “BIG BIG SALE” at the local auditorium.  For those of you that don’t have these things, they gather vendors into a large hall and they sell their crap at discount prices.  While I was there sorting through stacks of knock off items such as Rockwood and Kenford stereo equipment, I ran across one of these little boxes. It burns sticks and cones and keeps all the ashes inside.  It also holds extra sticks, or like money or very small action figure guns.

Anyway, the thing that bugs me the most about it is not that people look at me weird when I buy incense sticks, it’s that the ones that don’t say anything, are most likely thinking the same thing that the people that do say something say.  “Gonna be smoking some weed?”

Now, I understand that some people that smoke weed do burn incense to cover up the scent, but that doesn’t mean that all people that burn incense are potheads. Sometimes we’re just strange obsessive people who like our houses to not stink.  Especially people like me who have cats and dogs, so I just have bad smells built in.

Anyway, i didn’t really have any great ending to this, I’m just tired of people asking me if I’m headed off to smoke some weed….that’s all.

…anyway, until next time,

Category: ...the way i see it
Comments: None

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